Trying to Solve Before Truly Listening

Why pitching or throwing your services at someone before truly listening shuts down the conversation.

Selling before Listening. 

The truth is, most people don’t want you to solve their problems for them; they want someone to listen to them and have a chance to listen to themselves. 
Think back to a time when you were trying to open up to someone about a struggle you were having, but they immediately threw solutions at you. 

How did you feel?

• Unheard.
• Frustrated.
• Misunderstood.
• Ignored.
• Angry.
• Resentful. 

​I’ve been there too. 

As a helper, regardless of your title, the first step to developing any relationship, making any pitch, or making any sale is LISTENING. 
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TRULY LISTENING.
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Not to stock up on opportunities to overcome objections or to solve their problem. Just to listen. 

Feeling the need to help can be distracting; we want so badly to ease their pain and solve their problems. 

When you think about it, most people have already had their fill of ‘advice’ and need a moment just to feel heard. 

Contrary to popular belief, listening is not passive.

It is HIGHLY ACTIVE as you take in the facts, the person’s feelings, and understand their perspective. 

Our job as the helper is not to solve their problem or throw our offers on the table any chance we get. It’s to give them a safe container or space to discover their own power, merely offering tools and guidance that empower them. 
So, how can you help the other person feel heard?

• Eye contact
• Relaxed and attentive body position
• Attentive Silence 
• Confirming what you heard (“you felt angry” or “you felt helpless”)
• Summarize what you heard (“So let me make sure I got it right…”)
• Don’t jump into solving their problem; instead, ask them what you can do to help and let them tell you if they are ready for a solution. 

*If not, have faith that your listening was appreciated, and you will be rewarded with a sale, a referral, or great word of mouth. 

When someone feels truly heard and understood, something incredible happens.
Trust begins to develop. 

Trust is the most essential part of marketing, sales, and business. When you have a person’s trust, you will likely have their business, their friends and family’s business, and you’ll KEEP IT. 

Now, tell me in the comments whether you agree!